Nothing much here but look I'm actually posting on my blog

Lazy Sundays. Except we went to the rec for more hours and I finally started uploading some of these journal notes right here onto my blog where they belong!

Day 20.

The prettiest park of my life

Signed up for some park cleanup community service. Again no warm fuzzy feeling, but I did have a slight sense of pride seeing our little area's improvement after so yeah that's cool.

We got to go for a walk in the park to and oh my! I've never been to a park that left me in such awe and well I'll just let the photos speak for themselves here!

THIS TREE IS like a beautiful blend of purple and pink💜😭

Gotta take the "candid" insta shots😅 to bad I was working and had to wear jeans and a matching tees with the rest of my group. This shot would look much nicer if I was in a white dress, with light makeup, and my hair gently dancing in the breeze!

It's okay, the shot already is still pretty graceful I'd say ...

Wrong😂 Flor got me ugly running to the tree before hand. The ugly truth behind the Instagram shots😂

Another not so candid shot. 

Story. There was a gate here so I reached over the gate with my phone tilting down and almost dropped my phone in that water.

Pink trees💖 what a world, am I right? I mean I guess I knew they were out there, but I was always over here, but now I'm there too I guess! ... I sound like a lunatic.

Anyways look at all the green shirts in the distance. That's my group. I kept getting far behind because all the pictures I was taking!

Speaking of pictures, here's my favorite. Credit to my friend Flor here! I adore this shot of me!

Again my crew is ahead in the distance because I kept playing tourist😂

This wasn't even half the park!! There was so much more and I'm bummed we only stayed briefly.

I'd love to go back. Without a chaperone and a time limit! It was so huge and green and lush and there were ducks and birds! I think the bird was a Jay bird I don't know! You don't see this kind of scenery in Vegas it was nice. 

It's just really maddening to me. I've spent my whole twenty years thinking I'm not missing much. You've seen one tree you've seen them all. You seen one bird you seen them all. You see one PARK you seen them all. Turns out I haven't seen anything yet. There was so much of Nevada I was missing! So much of America. There's so much of The world I haven't seen! 

Crazy how a walk in the park can really open a girl's eyes! What else have I missed right here in my own home state? I've never been filled with such a desire to explore more!

P.S. after we got subway, I got candy for pestering our chaperone, and we ordered pizza and had a movie night! 

Day 19.

I'm CPR certified and going for platinum

FRIDAY💜and what a day it was. Got CPR certified during the first half of my classes and watched the Bully documentary on my second half.

Got a whopping 21 hours of rec points from my current teacher for washing the boy's hands-on uniforms, got my tardy excused and signed up for some more community service tomorrow. 

So I have a lot of good hours going towards my future gold card! 

White - basic with no benefits what I have now as a new input.

Pink - Horrible. Basically you can't leave this place because they won't let you on rec trips or the bus. Also you get extra dorm duties, payed on Mondays instead of Fridays, and on top of that you're payed the least.

Tan - neutral. pretty much like white card except you're no longer a new input. 

Gold - the goal. You get bonus money. You're a priority when it comes to rec trips such as IMAX and even Six Flags! You're also paid first on Fridays!

Platinum - The dream. You've gotten gold card so much that you're now platinum. You get paid the most and are able to sign up first and be considered first when big rec trips like six flags are planned! Also paid early on Fridays.

Other than that I started my period and have been a bit snippy because of it. I made a big deal to my mom for not sending my care package yet, but I still think I'm justified a bit.

Now just relaxing in the dorm I need to invest in some cozy sweatpants😭and snacks. My PMS cravings are kicking my ass. The cafeteria doesn't serve any sort of sweets and I'm to broke for the student store😭

Well my roommate is trying to get me into pretty little liars. Gonna rest before I go and bust my booty for the community tomorrow. Night!

Day 18.

Sexual Awareness week

It was an overall good day. The norm. We are done with hands on though and back to our regular class.

For lunch was spaghetti which I got seconds and mandarin oranges which are a fav of mine. Also they had a booth set up in the lunch room because it's sexual awareness week or something. All you had to do was just go up and they gave you a squishy stress ball in the shape of a blue ribbon, a pin, a patch, and three pieces of candy. Pretty great, I love when they do stuff like this! Job Corps sure knows how to appeal to my inner kindergartner. 

After we had a leadership class which was laid back and whatnot. Did laundry. Not just my own but I volunteered to clean the boys dirty freaking jumpsuit uniforms from their hard trade hands-on in exchange for rec points.

Had dinner, went to the gym, and watched Aladdin. Mostly just chilled with my roommate and the girl from the room across from us. Pretty wild.

Day 17.

Females are nasty af

So I have mopping duty and right in front of the stall door is fucking PERIOD BLOOD. Yeah I got the honor of cleaning that one.

Now I try to be sensitive to girls on their period just because I have heavy horrible periods and I know personally shit happens. Leaks, blood on or by the toilet I been there ok. BUT I CLEAN SHIT UP! I don't leave wrappers and dirty pads hidden or out for other girls to find. I put them in the bin. I don't leave puddles of menstrual blood on the floor of our shared dorm bathroom, That's just wrong.

Yeah females man omg ... having community bathrooms and dorm duties that involve cleaning up after the other girls are the worst.

Today was my MAA hands on. It was a little dull, but not bad and definitely something I could do but then I got a tardy soo eff that I'm picking Pharmacy now.

Other than that my roommate bought a shit load of goodies so yeah fun fun.

Day 16.

SHOUT OUT YOUR CNA

Went to CNA for my hands on. Definitely not the field for me. I just don't have the heart to brush teeth, make beds, change diapers for eight hours a day. I'm not even taking care of myself so others are out of the question. 

Not to mention when she was lecturing us on PVD? And COPD, and ileostomy, etc I was in the back literally queasy trying not to gag.

But RESPECT to those who can do this field. It truly takes not just a hard worker but an empathetic person with a heart... and strong stomach. Clearly I'm lacking.

Looks like my final voc choices now are Pharmacy Tech and MAA. Both medical so I'll be wearing scrubs the question is which. 

What I like about medical trades here is that they go on a walk around the campus two times.

It's refreshing. Hard trades do it too I think.

Tomorrow I have MAA hands on which will probably determine which voc I pick.

After class I went to dinner, gym, did laundry, and watched the Space Between Us with my roommate. Now time for 😴.

Day 15.

Compounding my own beauty products in Pharmacy!

Woke up and got ready. This week my morning dorm duty is mopping. I kind of oopsied with it today by putting too much soap and squeezing the water on the floor but I finished in time to get good food for breakfast.

Today was French toast, God bless🙏🏽  For class I did my hands on for Pharmacy. My top pick. Today I learned I may not be quite cut out for it unless I really get my shit together and study asap. It was a fun hands on don't get me wrong and the class and teacher are amazing! 

Minus some hoe trying to get me in trouble with her bitch ass. Cough cough. I dropped one of the mini pipettes in this jug container and she insisted I leave it in there, "there is no way to get it out." Then she made a statement about how the class  will give me hell for it if I did choose pharm tech. As if I committed some horrible pharmaceutical party foul by accidentally dropping a pipette in this jug thing! Also note we were doing labs with all kinds of butters and oils and whatnot and my gloves were super slippery. So yeah I dropped it and yet she INSISTED I leave it in there. I had that gut feeling she was full of shit though so I straight up told the teacher when she came in and she was just like, "oh it's still in there? Uh oh." Super chill, and just squeezed the jug a bit so it would rise out. Problem fucking solved, ain't nobody gave a shit. Ain't nobody cared. No one gave me hell. Nobody even knew and the ones who did minus her didn't even care. So yeah moral of the story follow your gut and ignore a dumb bitch :)

Other than that, which was so minor I question why I had such a petty rant about it. I can clearly tell I've been missing church from my lack of empathy and anger.  Pharmacy was amazing. Yeah the packet we got was intimidating, but I am confident that I could ace it if I just refreshed and studied. It was metric conversions which was like a lesson from over five-six years ago freshman year and I'm very bad at math but I could relearn it no prob. Plus there was a lot of pharmaceutical terms but I'm pretty good with terminology I think. Class was super chill to even talked it up with a bunch of classmates and one kind of tutored me with the math! Not to mention our hands on today was making lip balm and a moisturizing sugar scrub from scratch! Got to do it in the lab with some crazy lab gear on too!!

It was crazy fun! Even snapped some pictures since the lab part was mainly student run! The only problem is the hands on hit me with the reality this math and work is a lot. You have to be precise. Today we are making lip balm sure but tomorrow we could be making something medicinal and just 1ml over on something could be fatal for the patient ingesting it. It's a field that can save or take someone's life depending on the technicians and pharmacists. A mistake can cause lawsuits, prison, a life ... Pretty scary tbh.

Not to mention I'm gonna need a whole math refresher plus learn a crap load of pharm related terminology that I'd be willing to study for, but I'm just not sure if I'm really that passionate about the field for it.

This isn't my only hands on though. I have CNA tomorrow and Medical Administration Assistant on Wednesday.  Maybe they'll appeal to me more, maybe not.

Had a thing in the theater about sexual assault and the Disney talent show. Then went with a friend(?) to help her with a personal issue and whatnot but had to ditch when we realized we were going to be late to role call. Which we were but got a warning...

Flor and I went to dinner then that class we missed last week so we could get it signed off. Then I went to the gym alone which was chill. Treadmills were all down though so bummer but oh well. Starting to get a little 🍑 going! I mean it when I say she's a little girl but she's coming I assure!

Then just watched family guy and enchanted with my roomie. Oh and I finally got a hot shower!!! It's been like three days were it was freezing😭

Other than that I did have my doctors appointment finally. Was not the type of doctor I was expecting😳 it was a social worker, it lasted over an hour, I'll leave it at that.

I am hoping my next one is the birth control because momma wants to never have a period again ... or be called "momma" for that matter yikes. My luck though next time I'm in there will be for the blood draw they want me to do😭 and I'll probably be on day one or two of my period with my shitty luck. Watch me faint. Actually don't! Knock on wood! Knock on wood!

Day 14.

The missionaries found me

No church for me again. Though I feel guilty and would like to make that a priority. Enough of the "Jesus speak" though. Today I woke up at 8ish and praise my mother and JK for getting an unlimited data plan! 

Went to breakfast and spent the day finishing more laundry. Finally done. That's about it. Oh and I started talking to the female missionaries here thanks to one of my LDS input brothers giving me their number. That's it.

Day 13.

I'm glad everyone has zero faith in me

Woke up 7amish. Bathroom/showered, then FaceTime with my sister who informed me they are all making bets on when I'll go home. Can't say I'm offended. To be honest though, I make bets on when I'll go home too ...

Called my mom after. It's nice having a roommate who leaves weekends since I can have private time to make these type of phone calls, etc. I can get emotional and homesick maybe even cry and not have to worry about someone witnessing. 

When I was talking to my sister and mom though they seemed a little disinterested. I kind of felt bad for holding them on the phone so long but idk I just get lonely. It's nice to talk to them and tell them every detail of what I'm experiencing. I don't really want the phone call to end, so I guess I get a little sad when they say they have to go. I'll leave it at that before I break down.

Had breakfast hash browns, eggs, blueberry scone and muffins. Not bad. After I just had a lazy day by myself. Watched Kubo, napped, ate tamales with Flor, snacks, watched Terms of Endearment, did some laundry, cleaned out my locker, cleaned my room, had a fire drill, and showered. Pretty much ended the day like that.

My mom is putting together a care package and my new debit card should be coming soon. Had to shut down the old one when my phone/wallet got stolen just in case they wrote down my number. I mean I only have .54c in the bank so jokes on them if they did, but better safe than sorry.

Basically a lazy dorm day minus the fire drill. Well night.

Day 12.

I got to go to an actual house today

I always feel so weird when I wake up here. I think it's a part of the homesickness, but everyday I just feel so off about waking up in a dorm, next to a girl I just met, with blankets that aren't mine, hearing the voices of females in the distance instead of my dogs and dad. Knowing that when I step out of this building I'm not even going to see anything close to the Las Vegas strip in the distance. 

It's weird though when I wake up it's just plain trippy. Like I almost have to reevaluate my surroundings because I forget where I am exactly. It's actually scary and I'm trying to play it out day by day to see if it gets easier but so far not really. Usually once I wake up and get the day started it gets easier but for that brief moment when waking up I'm terrifyingly confused.

I don't know I guess I've never experienced this feeling before so I thought I'd share.

Other then that I spent the day in class with even more speakers and a movie called Couch Carter I think. Next week is a new class. Cafeteria food kind of messed me up. Lots of onion... Just yikes.

After class we got paid a whopping $4.66 and I begrudgingly got dressed to go out with Flor and a non-res friend. We went to the bank for Flor then got McDonald's then went to the non res friends house to meet her fiancé and watch Moana and Finding Dory. It was nice but not exactly what I wanted to do on a Friday after a long week. At least I got chicken nuggets.

Came back at like 11:40ish and I showered and got ready for bed. Still trying to aid my tummy troubles though😳 did I mention I HATE public/community bathrooms. It was a cold shower too...

Day 11.

Doctors and Service

This is an easy one! Spent 8-4pm in the wellness room waiting to get our results from last week and a physical. We were supposed to get a HPV shot too but they allegedly ran out of whatever vaccine.

I showed up all negative on last weeks drug testing and STD testing, but I got a false positive on Syphillis. Lucky for me this virgin has nothing to fear. She did say it was an obvious error since when you do have syphillis two things (I forgot exactly what) usually react whereas with me it was allegedly just one.

But because of their lab error I guess the gov requires they test me again just so they have on record proof it was just an error or something.

Not just that, but my blood also showed I'm low on hemoglobins and something else (iron? Red blood cells? Etc) and I'm most likely anemic. Which is something the nurse did have suspicions on last week but I guess my blood results are kind of confirming now ... because of that the Gov are requiring I get tested on my blood again this time for iron..

They need three more vials of blood from me just to confirm this virgin indeed didn't magically obtain syphillis and that I also don't have anemia.

I'm real nervous to because 

one: ahh more blood is being drawn and this time it's a vial more than last time.

And two: the doctor I had last time who took time to find a good vein in my arm, and babied me through it so I wouldn't be scared wont be doing it next time.

Instead it's the nurse and she's sweet too and also babies me to no complaint because I am a baby and need to be nurtured by doctors or I'll cry. But I'm just worried she won't have that magic touch the last one had. She must of felt and remembered my fear from last time though because she looked so sad when I started getting sad too at the news I'd be redrawn. She half joked how it's always her good students like me she has to poke again and never the ones she wishes she could. 

She was nice enough to find me a pink bag though in the bag for my first aide kit. I think she did it in an attempt to cheer me up. She also took shock in the fact that I'm twenty. She said it's always her 20 years olds who look 16 and her 16 year olds that look 20. Probably because I was acting like a terrified child at the doctors😭

Despite that disappointment of an exam, I am 5"7' (I think she was measuring from my top bun though) and weigh 126lb. I gained like two pounds since being here but I guess that's common for most Job Corps kids. My theory is because we are eating three meals a day now.

After the basic exam I go get my eyes checked and luckily I was already wearing my glasses that had an updated prescription. They said that I'll get a free pair of glasses through them even if I have glasses already. Then they checked my hearing which was perfect. 

So fuck off mom, JUST KIDDING.

After that was the physical which I did good on. Had to strip to nothing but a paper robe and my underwear. They checked for scoliosis and felt up my boobs that was new but I tried to be mature about it. I did giggle though when she squeezed my nips because that was unexpected okay😂 like I guess I should of expected it but it caught me off guard okay😂 shit she probably thinks I'm a freak🙈 or freaky🙊 but I'm healthy here from what I know.

In the waiting room I mostly killed time on my phone. A small group of us did watch Heathers as per my request and surprisingly people liked it which made me very happy because it's my favorite movie! 

After the class day I went to my dorm for role call, got dressed and went to do charity work at a food bank.

I'm not gonna get bull shit it and say I got a warm fuzzy feeling, or I feel humbled, or it was a learning experience because honestly it wasn't. Like yeah I guess I did a good thing for a good cause pat on the back, but I'm not gonna sugar coat it. I did it for the community service hours and this was the only community service project offered that said they'd feed me too. I got subway btw. I also took a lot of candy from the volunteer's candy bowl. I had fun and got closer to a dormmate who lives right across from my room but not gonna go altruistic mode just yet. 

But I'm glad I helped Job Corps, help the food bank, help me. It's a win for everyone!

I think I would of felt more sentimental about the experience if I wasn't working in the warehouse of the food bank sorting food and cutting boxes. If I actually had to go to a shelter and scoop food to an actual homeless person that would of for sure been a better experience. I was just doing behind the scene work though that felt more like a prison warehouse gig. 

Maybe I'll try a different service next time for that warm fuzzy feeling. If not who gives a crap either way the community benefits from my service whether I feel humbled or not. It's about them anyways not me.

After service and subway I came back to the dorm just in time for accountability. Searched for my missing lock for my locker and slept.

Day 10.

Another Interview?

Today we got to go to the teacher of the trade we want. (pharmacy technician) and get interviewed by them. It's kind of nice because now instead of wearing the god awful khakis I can wear nicer "interview clothes" instead. Well for a day at least.

I literally wore the same exact outfit I did for my post orientation interview. It was well received here😳🙈😉As for the interview, it went great and I got a perfect score!!

Finished class with speakers as normal. Then after role call went to a required student government meeting, then gym for cardio where I lost the rec paper I just finished getting caught up on.

That lead to me noticing two hours later that it was gone while I was casually eating noodles in the lounge in skimpy pjs.  

I then proceeded to put jeans and a jacket on so I wouldn't go out like a hoe, hop out my dorm window, fall on my ass, get made fun of by my roommate, run to the rec, search in the gym where I last saw it, get questioned and harassed about my relationship with a guy I just met eight days ago, find it by asking the front people, and go back in quick enough time to finish my noodles before they got cold.

This is what I get for not tracking my shit, but falling on my butt was worth it being that I found it and still got to enjoy my noodles while hot!

Day 9.

Adult stuff I guess...

Resume building, cover letters, reference sheets, interview questions, etc. Basically lessons on all things Job related and videos on water safety and employees with disabilities.

After class I did two loads of laundry. One clothes and one blankets. Ate so many Oreos. And spent most my time in my dorm.

We got three new inputs in my dorm so it's nice not being the new new ones anymore!

One week down!!

day 8.

Settling in

Only exciting thing today was the theater's Earth Day fashion show. My dorm won! We also got a new teacher for the week and I now get dorm duties (toilets 😭) and an email so I guess I'm official now.

I've also been taking advantage of the gym here and I am one of the few girls who got a doctors appointment scheduled for them so hopefully I'm not dying??

day 7.

Lazy Sunday

Woke up, tried to go to church for Easter Sunday but that was a bust. Spent day napping or in lounge.

day 6.

The Weekend!

Straightened up my locker. Just ignore the towel, I'm air drying it lol Most the day Flor and I kept unintentionally kept busy.

We had a gym sesh. 10 min cardio, stretching, ab workouts, and more cardio. We also adventures out again and went to the mall once more but during the day this time to avoid the cold and getting lost again. 

We waited at the bus stop for an hour, but it was a very entertaining wait so I didn't mind lol

We took a quick trip to the rec were we signed up to roller blade tomorrow and spent the night watching South Park, Big Daddy, and a part of Breaking Dawn in the lounge.

day 5.

Permission to leave

Don't ask me much of what I did. Just more speakers and lectures for the most part.

We did go to Walmart. That's a story on its own lol just know I got flowers and Oreos from someone 😳.

We had to go to the theater at the rec center for points. They gave us root beer and red vines so that was nice. No idea what movie this was though I left after the required thirty minutes.

Me and two friends spent our Friday night going to the mall! I got Hot dog on a stick. Told the guy about how I used to work there and he hooked it up with free lemonade after we chatted.

We then had time to kill and walked around the area. So that was adventurous I guess.

It's just nice to finally be able to leave the center!

day 4.

My wallet and phone got stolen!!

I got a decent night sleep. Maybe 7ish hours I woke up at like five but stayed in bed till they woke us up at six. Showered, put on my uniform, met Flor in her dorm.

Ew. Now I know I said free is free but khakis?! They give me so much anxiety especially when I'm on that time of the month. We left for breakfast and it was raining, than sleeting, than snowy, and by the time we finished eating it was sunny. This patterned continued throughout the day.

We did a little bit of class work on respect but mainly we did our official campus tour on vocations offered. I learned a few good details about my trade. Not only can I have it done in 6-8 months but if you are from Vegas they will ship you back for the last 100 hours you need so you can train at home! Also the certifications count for all 50 states and not just Nevada so I can move anywhere and not have to worry about re-certification!

Ate lunch with my two favorite dorm brothers and Flor. I say favorite very loosely. Then we got to get paid for the first time! A whopping $25. A true bliss because after this they start deducting taxes and certain school fees from our pay which can make it $23.01 or if supply deduction $12-16.

The bliss was almost completely ruined when Flor and I took a potty break after and my phone got jacked because I carelessly left it on top of the thing that you get toilet paper out of. My phone is in a protected wallet case, so not only was my phone gone, but my state id, my debit card, and the $25 I just got paid plus a five I already had. This was the second time I did this and this time I had to pay for it. Literally. Thankfully my thief was ever so gracious to return my phone anonymously with the case and cards attached, ... but they took it upon themselves to reward their act of pure mercy by taking upon themselves my thirty dollars. How valiant. Me being in an emotional hysteria rejoiced tearfully at the return of my phone and cards at the least. Money is money but I think it would of destroyed me had I not been able to call my parents tonight. That would of been it for me, I would have self termed today, period. 

We took a standard placement test in reading and writing. It basically decides if you can start your trade asap or if you have to take academic classes first. Which also means it can add another 4-6 months to your stay here. If you want your trade and to get out asap like me failing was not an option. Thankfully I passed both!! Even math what?! The teacher made fun of me because when he asked me what's 4 + 5 I couldn't answer. Jokes on that dude though I still passed!

I was able to return to my dorm a bit early and called my dad, texted my mom, video called my sister. I desperately needed the communication with my family after being so close to losing it. I spring cleaned my room and locker with my roomie too! Also did laundry and learned the art of making ramen noodles in a dorm microwave. Which I enjoyed in the lounge.

While I was out and about doing my cleaning and eating and lounge lounging I met and befriended quite a few! For the most part the dorm is super friendly.

I did go out once briefly for a rec tour with most my input family but other then that it was just a chill dorm night for me after classes. Ended it watching South Park in the lounge.

day 3.